Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Win Original Art from Artists Better than Me!

Are you wondering who did this week's amazingly and astoundingly awesome episode of (a very early) Strange Fiction?

Well, I ain't tellin'.

Which, my friends, is the whole point. This week is Eyeskream's Annual Comic Swap IV, and aside from getting to see a bunch of different artists draw your favorite comics, you also have the chance to win a particularly prestigious prize! If you're the first to correctly guess which artist drew which strip, then you can win a piece of commissioned art done by the participating ES artist of your choice. Have you always wanted to see Bryan from Suspicious Minds and Eep get into an all out pomp boxing match with their hair, on the space ship from Future Pig? Well, now's your chance!

What are you waiting for? Click the banner below, already.

Friday, September 19, 2008

WtFF: Politics. 'Nuff Said.

I promised myself when I started this blog that even though it's mostly dedicated to the kind of insanity that drives me bat shit, I wouldn't talk about politics.

Political opinions, like opinions on religion and music, are like assholes: everyone has one and thinks everyone else's stinks.

Plus, I know not all my readers are Americans, and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the vast majority of the non-Yanks who still check this blog could give a shit about which pompous windbag is on the screen in my mother land.

I'm sorry self, but I'm about to break a promise to you like I was your deadbeat dad, because I can't let this shit slide.

As even the international contingent may be aware, a former First Lady campaigned for the Democratic ticket for the Presidential nomination. I'm not talking about Pruney Bush; I'm referring to Hillary Clinton, of course. Here in Good Ol' Boy America, the conservative lot hate the Clintons, and they especially loathe Hillary. They hate her like she took away their collective puppy, kicked it to death, and then consumed its quickly cooling body with her bare hands right in front of them as they gently wept. Whether or not you think this is justified hatred is up to you and your asshole, but that doesn't change the fact that certain loud, uber-conservative--wait--make that, uber-fuckshitting-insane launched an Anti-Hillary Clinton campaign that was nigh unbelievable in its blatant sexism.

Check this out:

Yes. That's a sign that reads, "Iron my shirt." IE, get your breasts, and overies, and vagina away from the White House and back into the kitchen where they belong.

Holy shit. It's 1942, and no one told me.

It turns out the "iron my shirt" guys were most likely radio show jackasses, but that doesn't mean those of us with a pair of double X chromosomes weren't subjected to a steady stream of sexist bullshit from the right when ever the conversation turned to Hillary.

After all, one of Rush Limbaugh's objections to the female half of the Clintons in the White House was that she wasn't pretty enough.

"Will Americans want to watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?" he asked.

Regardless, the fact that there are people out there who would use this kind of rhetoric doesn't surprise me. Some people are misogynistic jerkwads. I get that. What makes me want to drive a tank through a good portion of the political buildings in Washington is now that the Republicans have their own "little woman" tramping down the White House trail, the Right Wingers are accusing Obama and the "liberal left" of being sexists whenever they question Sarah Palin's political experience.

I'm sure you guys are smart enough to appreciate the delicious, golden honey irony in that.

* head + desk, repeat from * to ad nauseum.

Say it with me, gang: what the FUCK?

Moving on to a discussion that doesn't make me want to commit suicide with the keyboard, you've no doubt noticed the adverts on Strange Fiction. They're being run through a company that has a nifty little counter that shows potential advertisers how many visitors hit the site, and from which countries they hail.

See? I wasn't just blowing out of my ass when I said not all my readers were Yanks.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I Wish...

Blogger had a "reply to comments" feature on this thing. Just so you guys know, I *do* really appreciate the comments.

That is all.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Last Week for Naked Eep

Firstly, a huge, HUGE thank you to the three folks who donated this week. Even though I know two of you personally, and even though you donated out of concern for my physical well-being, no doubt, thank you! (I will mail you the negatives by Wednesday of next week.)

If you were thinking you might want the Nudie Wallpaper, now's the time. After this week, I'll be retiring it for ever more.

So, what did I learn from drawing my main character in the buff? A few things, kids. A few things.

1. Full frontal nudity isn't as funny as suggested full frontal nudity.

2. Even though people may claim otherwise, no one really wants to see your comic characters naked when your character is a dude.

3. I draw sacks WAY too big, apparently.

All in all, I think it was worth doing, simply because it was uncomfortable for me to post that nudie pic online. It's funny. In the comic, I've made fun of the Special Olympics, suicide, self-injury and have even shown Eep slitting his wrists, none of which ever struck me as particularly risqué. But posting that wallpaper... It made me squirm a good deal more than I was expecting. IRL, I'm not shocked or offended by nudity in the slightest, so I was surprised I got all flustered every time I had to send the "nudie" link to a donator. Perhaps because I base so much of the character on myself, or perhaps because I was concerned what it "meant" to be the "kind of artist" that draws naked cartoons for money*.

Honestly, I'm not ruling out incorporating nudity into the comic in the future. The fact that it makes me ill at ease makes me want to explore it in the future.

Speaking of the comic, what do y'all think of Strange Fiction's new layout? Love it? Loathe it? Lust for it? Lemme know.

* What it means is that I have no morals. What do you want drawn? Gimme $5 and I'll do it!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

WtFF: Horror Rides on Three Wheels

I'm not sure how I didn't notice it sooner, probably because I'm a non-sociable, misanthropic fuck of a woman, but when the hell did people start getting so eye-wateringly stupid?

Do y'all know where the band Devo got their name? Devo is short for "de-evolution," a theory held by the band members that as technology evolved, humanity de-evolved. In other words, as our laptops got smarter, we got dumber.

It was a theory that I always found funny, but in which I never put much stock. Yeah, we may be animals, and I truly believe that most of us at our deepest core are barely civilized beasts, but homo superior are hardly an advanced MP-3 player away from squatting in caves and chucking our shit at trespassers. Aren't we?

I'll pause to let you chuckle ironically.

Most of the time, when I run afoul an individual who was obviously scrapped from the bottom of the scum choked end of the gene pool, I think to myself, "Self, don't jab your Sharpie in this cretin's eyes until he cries out to whatever half-baked, sports-swaddled chthonian he calls God. Take a deep breath and remember you surpassed his vocabulary before you were out of diapers." And with a curse and a stiff drink, I dismiss that person from my thoughts. Sure, if the behavior of the people with driver's licenses in my homestate are any indication, he, and folks like him, are in the majority. But, it hardly proves that humanity is hurdling towards a future that looks more like Planet of the Apes than "Star Trek." So, you may be asking yourself, on what grounds do I make the claim that society is on a backward slide? Here it is:

Not the Big Wheel in and of itself. It was one Big Wheel in particular that destroyed my faith in humanity.

On evening, while walking the streets of a trailer park after midnight, I spotted one of these trikes abandoned and awaiting early morning trash collection. Being the responsible adult that I so obviously am, I decided that the only logical thing to do with this perfectly functional bit of childhood frivolity was to ride the hell out of it. (And no, I was not drunk at the time.)

As I crammed my decidedly adult ass into the painfully non-adult seat, I learned the horrible truth about why this sad, faded Big Wheel had been left on the side of the road for the garbage men rather than passed down to a sibling or donated to Good Will. It reeked--REEKED--of BO! What kind of fucking mutant freak of a toddler produces sweat pungent enough that it bonded with plastic on a molecular level?

When I couple the knowledge that those of us who are thoughtful, considerate, intelligent and compassionate creatures are increasingly outnumbered by simians with cell phones with the fact that some abominable anomaly of modern genetics has created a child that smells like an over-weight, middle aged trucker on a personal hygiene strike, I can come up with only one possible theory. We are de-evolving back into skunk apes.

Devo were right.

God, I love the Jocko Homo dance.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Did I mention I'm taking donations?

Strange Fiction might be late this week. Our phone, as well as our internet, has been turned off. We (*cough*DUCKY*cough*) made a mistake in the routing numbers when paying with a check online. Since we had a lot of unexpected expenses this month, including my little bro getting hitched and Ducky’s schoolbooks, we didn’t notice the payment didn’t go through. Until the phone didn’t work.

Dear fucking god, Bellsouth does NOT play around. You get them their money, or they break your goddamn knees. Metaphorically speaking. I’m almost entirely positive I would rather have the internet turned off than have my knees broken. … Almost.

With money already being stretched tighter than the skin across Pam Anderson’s chest, we don’t have a whole lot of extra cash to pay the bounced check fee from the phone company (yes THEY charge you a bounced check fee) and the reconnection fee. I will try to have things sorted out tonight, but no promises.

In other news, since it’s been two weeks and no What the FUCK Friday, I’m moving that particular feature to a bi-monthly thing. I just can’t get a decent article up and update the comic in one week’s time. I know. I suck.